I saw him tonight at a discussion group we both frequent and it felt okay. Before I came home, I slipped a note to his car with a simple note that said “If you need me, call me. Your friend, Donald” That simplicity took three tries, but I got it right. I came home took off my coat and put on some Oleta Adams. I think the coast is clear - I'm breathing a sigh of relief ...
February 2002 Archives
I think I've finally released him. Now we can move on with our lives ...
It's all about my magical realism ...
It's the eve of my 32nd birthday and I'm broke, I'm unemployed, I feel out of shape and I'm fancying a man that claims that he belongs to somebody else. *sigh* I don't know how I did it, but I pulled up out of it ...
I know I haven't blogged much lately, but right now I'm truly caught up in a rollercoaster ride of emotions because of what feels like love to me. I'm scared, I'm hopeful, I'm wondering, I'm wishing, I'm hesitant, I'm probably too sensitive - sometimes I really don't know whether to laugh or to cry. I know I don't want to see anybody else. But I think something happened yesterday. I feel like something is wrong, but I don't know if that's due to my altered state, so I'm playing it cool. How do I express this without pandering to the tired cliches I've collected over the years?
Anyway, we went to go see Miss Oleta Adams at B.B. King Blues last night and, in a word, it was magic! There was another couple at our table and they were holding hands. I was so jealous because I wasn't getting the same thing during such a romantic concert. I know my situation, but knowing that didn't provide much solace during Oleta's thrilling performance. I felt like I wasn't able to revel in love and I want to - I want to shout it loud! I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing ... but I know that I don't want this to end.
Very special thanks goes out to David Brooks, executive producer of the OUT-FM radio show featured on WBAI 99.5
Ah, romance is in the air with all its fragrance! I'm trying HARD not to surrender, but y'all, it's hitting me HARD!!! MPH! So I might even have a Valentine with whom I can TRULY experience Oleta Adams! I'm keeping my fingers crossed!
My girl Billie Ray Martin is suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Please send her your love, y'all.
Remember to get some of those commemorative Langston Hughes stamps - while they last.
