My Trifling Reasons For Not Blogging

I know I haven't blogged much lately, but right now I'm truly caught up in a rollercoaster ride of emotions because of what feels like love to me. I'm scared, I'm hopeful, I'm wondering, I'm wishing, I'm hesitant, I'm probably too sensitive - sometimes I really don't know whether to laugh or to cry. I know I don't want to see anybody else. But I think something happened yesterday. I feel like something is wrong, but I don't know if that's due to my altered state, so I'm playing it cool. How do I express this without pandering to the tired cliches I've collected over the years?

Anyway, we went to go see Miss Oleta Adams at B.B. King Blues last night and, in a word, it was magic! There was another couple at our table and they were holding hands. I was so jealous because I wasn't getting the same thing during such a romantic concert. I know my situation, but knowing that didn't provide much solace during Oleta's thrilling performance. I felt like I wasn't able to revel in love and I want to - I want to shout it loud! I really don't know what the fuck I'm doing ... but I know that I don't want this to end.

Very special thanks goes out to David Brooks, executive producer of the OUT-FM radio show featured on WBAI 99.5