Let Me Run My Fingers Through Your ...

Until 1996, I had so many experimental hair transformations! Trying to find something that said "Donald" - some style that could help me identify myself. And I had run the gamut of chemical treatments, from a slightly texturized S-curl (the quintessential Black hairstyle of the early 80's - you couldn't TELL me that I wasn't Ola Ray AND Prince) with forays into color using Vidal Sassoon's Colorifics gold and purple gels (see! Prince!) to completely relaxed, shoulder-length hair (again, influenced by Prince's look from "Thieves In The Temple" *sigh*). And that was only high school! I got sick of having hair and cut it for the prom. If I remember correctly, I wore my hair pretty short in college, sometimes letting it grow enough to fry it into a very Romulan-looking Caesar (very anti-Prince). For some reason, I calmed down with the chemicals once I returned to New York.

So, I started growing an afro once I got here. I knew I wanted natural hair, but eventually I didn't feel like managing it. So I cut my hair short again for a quick, new look. It was cute, for a moment, but I wanted hair. I missed the way it framed my face - and I always felt so powerful with hair. Then, in September 1996, Gordon convinced me to try locking my hair. I'd been thinking about it for a while, but I didn't think that I could do anything else with my hair once it locked. Gordon's first attempts at locking my hair looked cute for the moment, but were eventually unsuccessful because I sweat a lot. A whole lot. And those locks didn't stand a chance ... but I continued to grow my hair. Finally, the day of reckoning came when I ran into Timothy Stickney and his majestic locks on the subway. He gave me his wife Lee's card, I went uptown to Turning Heads (which is now right around the corner from me), sat in her chair and the rest is history.

Maintaining this hair is a process. When I choose to do it myself, I take the chore out of it by making it a ritual - lighting candles, lighting incense, playing nice music, pondering good things, sometimes just thinking, sometimes just listening to myself breathe. This process usually takes me a couple of days when I commit to being thorough - one day to wash my locks, another day to condition them and another to tighten my roots. I also have an 'express' method that takes between 4-8 hours (depending on whether or not I need to wash my hair) when I can't luxuriate in the process - and when I have to be somewhere. Or I go to Lee for professional treatment - and a style, but most of the time, I do it myself. I used to let Gordon do it more, but he's too rough and heavy-handed. I commit to this process at least once every two months.

I'll begin by washing my hair. If I haven't washed my hair in a while, I'll start out with Dr. Bronner's Peppermint Castile Soap. I don't apply it directly to my hair - I dilute it in a big cup so that it permeates my locks more easily. Massaging my scalp with this tingly lather feels go sumptuous and so luxurious! To thoroughly wash my locks, I'll take a bunch at a time and wring the lather through them. Once I've seem enough dirt go down the drain, I'll get my Aveda (or Aura) Clove shampoo. Now, I'm not really concentrating on cleansing my hair, I'm just lathering it up with this stuff for the aroma and the moisture. Using Dr. Bronner's alone would really strip my hair and make it dry - and that's NO GOOD! The Aveda (or Aura) shampoo helps bring the moisture back, especially important if I don't condition my hair immediately. Another reason moisture is important at this stage is because, if necessary, I'm ripping my locks apart from each other. The moisture helps to minimize breakage. If my hair is REALLY dry (as it is especially during winter), I'll skip the Aveda and use Cream of Nature's Ultra Moisturizing Detangling Conditioning Shampoo. If this stuff did anything else, I'd be scared - but it works wonders on dry, brittle hair. Note: this is NOT the product you want to use if your hair hasn't completely locked. Use this only on mature locks.

So either immediately following my rinse or the next day, I'll apply Aveda's Cherry Almond Bark Conditioner. Or Aura's. Another good one is All Ways Natural Conditioning Formula - it's quite nice! Again, moisture is key! I make sure my hair has been rinsed with very warm water. While adding the conditioner to my hair, I wring out the excess water. Then I immediately wrap my hair in a towel and go on with my day while my hair continues to soak in that moisture. Usually, this is a day when I don't have to go anywhere, but I have also been known to let the conditioner set dry and still hit the street - usually when I'm going to a place where there's a lot of smoke or if I'm going out dancing, but I try to do those things BEFORE I wash my hair. I use a LOT of conditioner, maybe about half of a 16 oz. bottle.

Immediately following that or the next day, I'll rinse that conditioner out with warm water and apply a leave-in conditioner. I really like Aveda's Elixir. Kiehl's Leave-In Hair Conditioner is a surprising good, but lately I've been using Genuine African Formula Leave-On Conditioner. It is creamy excellence really permeates my hair and makes it soft and pliable. Again, I use a whole lot (even more since I dyed my hair for the first time last year), appying more to my hairline and kitchen (a.k.a. the nape of my neck).

This is the most intense part of this whole process. I'll prepare (and psych myself up) by setting up my implements - hair clips, Carol's Daughter's Mimosa Hair Honey, Sebastian's Molding Mud (yeah, it's German and I don't know what's in it, but it rinses out - unlike beeswax), my assortment of essential oils, maybe some sweet almond oil and a spray bottle full of hot water. First, I'll mix some Mimosa Hair Honey with almond oil and essential oil(s) in a tiny bowl (really a Pyrex custard cup - Hmmmm ...) and massage it into my scalp thoroughly. Then I'll massage the excess mixture evenly into the length of my hair. Now, it's time to tighten these roots up. I'm such a perfectionist - when I began doing these locks myself, I would spend SO much time on each individual lock. Well, these things are long now, reaching down to the small of my back, so we can't do THAT anymore. So I've learned how to palm roll VERY quickly. I'll start by sectioning off my hair into quadrants, working from the back (the most difficult part of my head) to the front. For each lock, I take a bit of Molding Mud, emulsify it with my fingertips, apply it to the root and roll the lock between my palms. The lock then goes into a hair clip - a clip usually holds about 8-12 locks. That makes sure that the root is tight and stays tight for a while - I could set it even tighter by using a hair dryer, but usually I don't. This part of the process can take anywhere from 4-8 hours, sometimes even longer, but I've learned to expedite it and to move quickly without sacrificing quality. Again, this is time that I've carved out for myself, so I'm usually in no rush.

And the finished product is always worth it! When I look into the mirror, see my scalp glistening and smell the fantastic scent of my hair, I feel like I've really treated myself to something really special! To keep it looking 'salon-fresh' and tight, I'll sleep with a silk scarf on, but I don't always. When all these locks get in the way, I tie them up exclusively with Ricky's Hair Rubbers. Unlike other types of rubber bands, these are soft and don't cut into my hair. If I had it like that, I would give some to everyone I know with locks! They're grrrrrreat!

So, this culminates this series of stories about how I take care of myself. Relating this part of my life has been an eye-opening experience for me; I've never written so much in such a short span of time (about 5,287 words in a week!). Maybe I'm not all that undisciplined after all! *grin!* (Yeah, right!) Anyway, I hope that you can take something from my experience to discover your own favorites that titilate your senses, and to create your own rituals that sustain and enrich your life.