I'm going to name the things that's helping me to pull through: pulling my friends into the world of The Sims, the wonderful Paradigm from Osunlade (deliciously pictured above) *hug!*, money to help keep stuff on *hug!*, technologically empowering a certain friend and just talking and chit-chatting with folk. Makes me feel like I'm still in the world, even though I've been quite reclusive.
I'm just pulling up out of a month-long funk. It's kinda hard to do anything else when you're depressed because of pennilessness until the pennies start jingle-janglin' again. I try really hard not to be that way - to be defined by what I do or don't have, but I lost this bout. And my place looks like I feel - like Harlem before gentrification. That's as messed-up as it sounds, in so many ways.
I'm so grateful for the friends I have. Because it helps sometimes to know that someone else loves me. Even so, I've found myself subconciously trying to distance myself from my friends while I experience this funk. I figure that they would appreciate being around a less-depressed Donald later. I certainly hate sharing only the worst about my life. Lately, that seems like all there is. But I'm being my usual dramatic Piscean self ...
I'm feeling better this week. My friends have been looking out for me and sustaining me spiritually, emotionally, even financially. The biggest part of me hates having to be The Receiver when I love being The Giver, but I suppose I could share my love for that role sometimes by relinquishing it by allowing the important people in my life to give to me. I'm still learning how to do that, but I'm gon' learn ...
u be u and i be me and we be we. we will make it. we always do.
I totally understand what your going through … It’s going to be alright. Hopefully I’ll be able to catch you online soon.