- Grab the nearest book.
- Open the book to page 23.
- Find the fifth sentence.
- Post the text of the sentence on your blog.
"The year 1919 was less than seven weeks old when the 369th Infantry Regiment marched proudly up Fifth Avenue."
-- David Levering Lewis, When Harlem Was In Vogue
... and I wonder how many of those men were on the DL ...
[ Responding on her message board ... ]
'Shockingly' Irresponsible and Inconsistent
Oprah, on one hand you say that you see gay men as men. On the other hand, you choose to focus on the lives of Black gay men only as it relates to how women are contracting HIV/AIDS.
I am a Black gay man who is HIV positive. I know that your show is primarily for women, but I love you and am inspired by how you inspire others to live their best lives. I really am deeply hurt, offended and confused by your intentions. Is it your intention to skew the lives of people like me by only featuring either Carson from Queer Eye For The Straight Guy (a show I do not watch), men on the DL and your hairdresser? I'm REALLY confused by your perspective. I know it's probably integral to your job to be able to relate to your audience, but how could you be so 'shocked' if you say you personally know gay men and you know, probably moreso than many members of your audience, the intricacies and depth of the twin pathologies of homophobia and racism which run rampant in our society?
Oprah, there are many gay men who are subscribers to your magazine and who watch your show religiously. Oprah, we can relate to your audience in many more ways than you have presented. Oprah, we do not only infect women with HIV and do your hair and makeup. (Isn't the fact that HIV STILL continues to affect Black gay men disproportionately an emergency in of of itself and newsworthy?) Oprah, I realize that you don't talk about us because America still doesn't talk about us and still is in denial of our existence, but I implore you to be bold in your change.
Be bold and present our lives more fully. We are your brothers, fathers, uncles, cousins, teachers, bosses, assistants and your best friends. And some of us have taken the responsibility for raising the children that our communities tend to forget. Be bold and present the similarities of our lives. We love the women in our lives; we love you. Don't use us to regress back into a sensationalism that is beneath you - prove that you can see all of us, who we are wholly, our highs and our lows, our entire lives. True, it is up to us to tell our own stories, but we depend on you to tell the truth from your vantage point. Oprah, I beg you to do everything you are empowered to do to tell the whole truth.
Now THAT was hilarious. On the DL indeed.
I commend you for your wonderful words. I fell asleep watching the show last night and watched the rest of it this morning. I respect J.L. King for coming out and sharing his life and making people aware of something that has existed for years. I could not help but wonder how many of the women in the audience had men in their homes who were on the DL. Phil Wilson made the best points in that until we start having the needed conversations around black sexuality, the cycle will continue. We, as black gay men, are a fierce people who love and live life. The media does not want to hear our success stories but we continue to let our voices be heard just as you have done here. Thank for sharing and much love to you.
Thanks for your eloquence. I’m far too pissed off with Oprah to even attempt a letter at this point. DL punks make me sick. I don’t want to understand them and simply feel that they are self-hating gay men/bisexuals that will have to face reality if we are to stem the rise of HIV/AIDS in our communities.
Some think Ms. Oprah is doing a service, when this will only lead to further stereotyping and make those of us out and proud and loud targets of the phobes. Don’t think it won’t. Just as sure as many of those yelling the loudest about us “Black faggots” are on the DL.
We have to have a dialogue about this issue, but all sides have to be willing to sit down at the table. Straight women need to get real, DL men need to come correct.
You know, I think I missed the second part of this post. No, I definitely, definitely missed it, because if I hadn’t, I would have had more to say. Maybe it was my sleep deprivation or something, but my apologies.
Whereas the show itsef ws ignorant on the Oprah standpoint, that’s not the part that got to me. The part that I didn’t appreciate in the least was JL King’s statements. I couldn’t even watch it without burning up inside. What did help was that Phill Wilson was in the audience and spoke enough of the information to make 1% of the show informative, whereas the other 99% was shoddy at best.
We definitely, definitely need to have a dialogue. We’re living and breathing and to be picked upon, stepped upon, and attempted to be broken should not, should NOT, happen.
Gentlepeople, I saw the show entitled Living on the DL, and I also just came from Oprah.com where the after show discussion is available. I have to disagree with you on the nature of the show. The show was centered around a book that IS coming out this summer, On The Down Low, by JL King, which is a first hand account of a brother who has lived that particular lifestyle. Oprah was specific in her questioning, making sure that the audience understood that this show was not about gay men. According to the author, these men who sleep with men consider themselves straight. So it is not about me, since I do not and have never participated in that set of choices.
In the after show, which is seen on Oxygen, and can be viewed on the website, Oprah says that the DL is ONE of the reasons HIV has become the number one killer of black/latino women between the ages of 21 and 31. This is valid subject matter. This behavior is happening and this book is coming. Fully expect to see it everywhere when it hits bookshelves this summer. When it does, I doubt the conversation will be as reasoned as it was on the show. Wendy Williams has already begun talking about it on her show and is scheduled to have Mr. King on when the book hits the stores in May, I believe.
Having been a regular watcher of Oprah forever, I get the sense that she does not realize that black gay men, and those that refuse to use that term, and use others like Same Gender Loving, or MSM or DL or whatever, have different lives from white gay men. We are all kind of lumped together in the same pot. Mr. King provided a look into the lives of a particular kind of black man who has sex with other men. It seems to me that we as a community could come up with a show concept that draws the distinctions, both between our community and the white, as well as the endless myriad of distinctions we have within our own black gay community. Lord knows there are enough of them.
I sincerely like Oprah (if not, always her “causes”) but was disappointed overall with the show. I don’t think Oprah handled the topic horribly (although her reaction to the subject matter seemened a bit disingenuous given her close relationships with at least a few, black gay men).
Given that Oprah’s target audience is women, it makes sense that she chose to focus primarily on how DL behavior has affected the HIV/AIDS rate in women. However, I feel she was unusually clumsy in defining the scope of the subject and therefore grossly under-represented how “living on the down low” touches on many aspects of black America. Then again, maybe that’s the reason she aired the show on Friday instead of earlier during the week; thus defusing likely, weekday word-of-mouth fallout.
Also, I’m cautious in bestowing too many accolades on J. L. King. His “eloquence” failed to impress me on the show (I’ll have to wait to read the book to form a better opinion of him). King simply seemed to be promoting a book of his personal accounts rather than providing the balanced examination of the DL “phenomena” that the show eluded to - or the topic achingly deserves. Phil Wilson’s 15 seconds was a breath of fresh air.
I really need to get back online - it’s going to be a bumpy summer.