I have food
I can’t eat
I can’t sleep
I’ve tried to sleep
I can’t sleep
I have to sleep
I need my rest
but I can not rest
yet.
They say it’s presumptuous
to call yourself an artist
or to call yourself brilliant
but I am an artist
and I am one
of the most brilliant people that I know.
That’s why I can’t sleep.
I can’t sleep when I know
that I can make a difference
that I have made a difference
that I can make more of a difference.
I can’t sleep when I know
he’s performing tonight
at fucking Madison Square Garden
while somewhere in another square
someone is begging for help
someone is begging to be saved
someone is begging for her life
someone like me.
I’ve been bashed, too
but we go on.
I haven’t slept much
I don’t like the way I look
I need a haircut
and a shave
and a job
and to clean my house
I am furious
I am shaking as I type this
I don’t like the way I feel
but we go on.
I still want to do my best.
I’ve asked for help
so that I can contribute
something bigger than I am.
I’ve asked Ajamu X, Rosie O’Donnell,
John Amaechi, Staceyann Chin, Earl Fowlkes
and Clarence Patton
I’ve received no response
I’ve asked Thomas Glave
who personally told me his own story
of barely escaping Jamaica with his life
I’ve received no response
I’m going to keep on asking
and checking my email
for a response.
I asked Tokes Osubu
and he responded immediately
and participated
I asked Colin Robinson
and he responded
for the most part
by giving me the runaround
I asked Larry Lyons
because parts of Rashawn Brazell’s body
are still out there, somewhere
and he responded
but could not participate
being a student
at the end of the semester
I asked Kenyon Farrow
another student
at the end of the semester
and he responded immediately
and participated.
And we go on.
It truly is time
to separate the wheat
from the tares.
It was warm yesterday
but it is cold right now
and I am going back to sleep.
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